In case this be found lurking around the Internet, after my lifetime account has been deactivated, just a reminder that I am real while writing this down and I existed in time and space. On that note, I am just pouring out somethings people didn't care to ask me in the first place and assumed my behavior eccentric. I am not giving an explanation here or apology. It's just that I am giving what made me into what I am. Just to be clear, my paternal grandparents were long dead before I was born and I mentioned my maternal grandparents here. So, gather around since this just got real.
One thing most people really don't know about me is that I am evil from the inside. See, I look this clown of a figure that is more socially awkward guy than Jesse Eisenberg's characters. I embraced that part of me for a very long time but the fact is, I experience my psychotic episodes now and then. According to my mother it started when I was like 8 or something but my therapist took it back to when I was 5. I used to be animal-like in my behavior and the symptoms were,
a. Being hungry at off hours
b. Biting and scratching my siblings.
c. Sleeplessness
d. Having an imaginary friend until I was 14. (that is messed up right)
I wanted dominance and absolute power. My imaginary friend who I had named Venky for some reason, told me about things. The most hilarious one being when I was 7 years old. He said that eating someone's food makes me behave in their control. Whenever I got angry, he made me bounce off food from table so that I could turn into my swan form and fly away. In a fit of rage, I almost pushed my elder sister from the stairs.
Now that you know the basics, let's dive into the uncharted areas. The trigger of my episodes was very simple in nature. No one can say anything bad about my father and my grandparents from his side. This is probably because, I idolize my father and he idolizes his parents. I didn't spend quality time with my father when I was young and it was mostly with an all female batch of mother-siblings club of my mother. They used to do all boring stuff and whenever moment struck, talk shit about my father. My mother was too polite to defend her husband before her parents and siblings. That created a rift and somehow I saw that they were poisoning my mother or at least that's what Venky said. Truth is ten years later, Venky is still right. Those people are evil AF and they left my mother into a helpless state. Although I am happy that I was right all along, I had to witness the suffering first hand. My father rented a new house and my mother is recovering from the turmoil, and she will be fine. After all my father is the best man on the Earth you could ever bet. Whenever I go home, I am happy to see my parents having understood the situations they were being through. I just love my parents.
The next thing has nothing to do with the aforementioned but has been a very recent tragedy. My cousin was the most beautiful baby that I had laid my eyes on till today. Some shit happened and she became mentally challenged. I just couldn't bear it. She was suffering. She was fighting a disease she had no clue of. I don't know what it's called but it looked far worse than Parkinson's. It just ripped my heart and shred it into pieces. The next thing that happened is I lost faith in beautiful people. I somehow felt responsible that if I like someone beautiful, their life is gonna get ruined. I cried myself to sleep and Venky sorted things out. He was just elegant in explaining things to me. He showed me the harsh reality of people behaving irrationally for money and asked me not to do such things myself. The point is, I can't speak to girls now. I kinda wanna ask them out but I don't because I feel I'll ruin their lives by just being in it. That beautiful baby had taken her last breath about five years ago in a terrible accident on a road with her mother. Life's never been the same for me. I had completely recovered from that in my first year of engineering, when I saw Kitty and although, she didn't reciprocate anything, I am happy for not involving her in my bad luck. Now, she's just another star in the night sky.
The last thing that I am letting you in is the fact that I have killer instincts. Let me explain, I could be the guy you'd know will win in a fair fight. Then again, I am the guy whom you wouldn't trust in the same building. One of the many great things Venky taught me was the control of anger. I should be thankful to him. He made me cope with angst, disgust and corruption by making me laugh unnecessarily. I'll give you, throw me your worst joke of the day, I'd be still laughing. Now, don't you relax my dear friend. All that anger bundles and heaps in my special zone. Once every two months, I take it out on abstract things. Initially it was animal abuse. I used to be kind to animals but situations made me hit piglets with stones. Then it was racing games like RoadRash where you could beat the living shit out of people. It took a more satisfying detour in playing street fighter because mortal kombat wasn't available. Eventually, the games lost their charm on me. Now, I take it productively by making something out of something else. Since 2008, that has been my mantra. Every now and then, people come to me taking me as easy as humanly possible and poke me at my worst. The last guy, that did it was named Anaas and I caused a crack in his skull by hitting him with a brick at his most unexpected moment. It was all planned including the cover up story and people taking me easy was my advantage. Before that, I almost killed my grandmother with a kitchen knife but Venky talked me through. More recently, a prick is flashing off his newly possessed electronics to boost his ego and he doesn't know, like you, that I have all planned to take every non-family person down in case it be necessary. Then again, I am sober for three years now without any incident.
Now I know the truth about Venky but I am not that idiotic to let you know about his features. That's still my secret. In short, you may take this story lightly and I may not show even the slightest of my evil side but trust me, that's just the proof that I can be that master in things that I do. As like in my group therapies, now might be a good time for you to say, thanks for sharing.
One thing most people really don't know about me is that I am evil from the inside. See, I look this clown of a figure that is more socially awkward guy than Jesse Eisenberg's characters. I embraced that part of me for a very long time but the fact is, I experience my psychotic episodes now and then. According to my mother it started when I was like 8 or something but my therapist took it back to when I was 5. I used to be animal-like in my behavior and the symptoms were,
a. Being hungry at off hours
b. Biting and scratching my siblings.
c. Sleeplessness
d. Having an imaginary friend until I was 14. (that is messed up right)
I wanted dominance and absolute power. My imaginary friend who I had named Venky for some reason, told me about things. The most hilarious one being when I was 7 years old. He said that eating someone's food makes me behave in their control. Whenever I got angry, he made me bounce off food from table so that I could turn into my swan form and fly away. In a fit of rage, I almost pushed my elder sister from the stairs.
Now that you know the basics, let's dive into the uncharted areas. The trigger of my episodes was very simple in nature. No one can say anything bad about my father and my grandparents from his side. This is probably because, I idolize my father and he idolizes his parents. I didn't spend quality time with my father when I was young and it was mostly with an all female batch of mother-siblings club of my mother. They used to do all boring stuff and whenever moment struck, talk shit about my father. My mother was too polite to defend her husband before her parents and siblings. That created a rift and somehow I saw that they were poisoning my mother or at least that's what Venky said. Truth is ten years later, Venky is still right. Those people are evil AF and they left my mother into a helpless state. Although I am happy that I was right all along, I had to witness the suffering first hand. My father rented a new house and my mother is recovering from the turmoil, and she will be fine. After all my father is the best man on the Earth you could ever bet. Whenever I go home, I am happy to see my parents having understood the situations they were being through. I just love my parents.
The next thing has nothing to do with the aforementioned but has been a very recent tragedy. My cousin was the most beautiful baby that I had laid my eyes on till today. Some shit happened and she became mentally challenged. I just couldn't bear it. She was suffering. She was fighting a disease she had no clue of. I don't know what it's called but it looked far worse than Parkinson's. It just ripped my heart and shred it into pieces. The next thing that happened is I lost faith in beautiful people. I somehow felt responsible that if I like someone beautiful, their life is gonna get ruined. I cried myself to sleep and Venky sorted things out. He was just elegant in explaining things to me. He showed me the harsh reality of people behaving irrationally for money and asked me not to do such things myself. The point is, I can't speak to girls now. I kinda wanna ask them out but I don't because I feel I'll ruin their lives by just being in it. That beautiful baby had taken her last breath about five years ago in a terrible accident on a road with her mother. Life's never been the same for me. I had completely recovered from that in my first year of engineering, when I saw Kitty and although, she didn't reciprocate anything, I am happy for not involving her in my bad luck. Now, she's just another star in the night sky.
The last thing that I am letting you in is the fact that I have killer instincts. Let me explain, I could be the guy you'd know will win in a fair fight. Then again, I am the guy whom you wouldn't trust in the same building. One of the many great things Venky taught me was the control of anger. I should be thankful to him. He made me cope with angst, disgust and corruption by making me laugh unnecessarily. I'll give you, throw me your worst joke of the day, I'd be still laughing. Now, don't you relax my dear friend. All that anger bundles and heaps in my special zone. Once every two months, I take it out on abstract things. Initially it was animal abuse. I used to be kind to animals but situations made me hit piglets with stones. Then it was racing games like RoadRash where you could beat the living shit out of people. It took a more satisfying detour in playing street fighter because mortal kombat wasn't available. Eventually, the games lost their charm on me. Now, I take it productively by making something out of something else. Since 2008, that has been my mantra. Every now and then, people come to me taking me as easy as humanly possible and poke me at my worst. The last guy, that did it was named Anaas and I caused a crack in his skull by hitting him with a brick at his most unexpected moment. It was all planned including the cover up story and people taking me easy was my advantage. Before that, I almost killed my grandmother with a kitchen knife but Venky talked me through. More recently, a prick is flashing off his newly possessed electronics to boost his ego and he doesn't know, like you, that I have all planned to take every non-family person down in case it be necessary. Then again, I am sober for three years now without any incident.
Now I know the truth about Venky but I am not that idiotic to let you know about his features. That's still my secret. In short, you may take this story lightly and I may not show even the slightest of my evil side but trust me, that's just the proof that I can be that master in things that I do. As like in my group therapies, now might be a good time for you to say, thanks for sharing.
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